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maryam meskienyar says:

Tan in the famous words of Bruno mars "your amazing just the way you are"

Nadjo Hatchett says:

Ditch the friends they are jealous of your life

mssmtaylor1 says:

Your "friend" set you up!
Drop her immediately!!

StellaFern says:

I believe there shouldnt be a "vs" any mom. Period. Women in general should try to lift each other up no matter what lifestyle they chose to follow. Come on women we have enough to pull through in a world like today to judge such nonsense. Spread love and respect to one another?

CoCoDivaElite says:

LISTEN I was a once a SINGLE WORKING MOM, a working mother and wife and I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE A STAY AT HOME Wife and MOM of 3 NOW HOWEVERRRRR That is NO EASY TASK! However, the GAG is WISDOM is KNOWING WHEN TO SPEAK AND WHEN NOT TO and Marriage the way GOD INTENDED and CREATED it to be needs NO explanation. I Too was a 3rd grade Charter School Teacher and I found that I was giving more to my job and the left overs to my family. I was giving and teaching and training all these kids and coworkers (as a mentor/coach) and was dog tired to give what was necessary for my own, or vice versa when I was all in at home I lacked at work. I had to choose and while it was a HARD adjustment and transition I had to renew my mind daily because as I stated I was a single mom prior to marriage and so I was like, I can hold my own, blah blah blah but I had to understand my ROLE & REPONSIBILITIES CHANGED when I became one with my HUSBAND and God. Yes, both sides has its struggles as with anything but only the foolish would think being a stay at home mom as a LOWLY, LAZY, EASY TASK. If I am honest, in my lack of knowledge I too once thought it was SUCH AN EASY TASK without obstacles. Alright I'm done writing a book LOL sorry not sorry#Godsgrace #Icandoallthingsthroughchrist

tia piotrowski says:

you should be able to live whatever life you want to as long as you are happy and a good person and you and erik are both!!

Ladyofthahouse says:

I get it. Some women are just jealous. I used to work for a major corporation. Early I'm my marriage my husband and I agreed that at some point I would transition to SAHM. When I made the transition, I noticed very quickly not only friends, but some family members treated me different. It got to the point that I tried to avoid the "so what do you do" questions. I mean if I break it down, I work much harder as a SAHM. but people don't get that.

carisa lyons says:

Had to share this video with my sister. She is also a stay at home mom. her husband don’t tell her what do and she don’t have to ask for anything. And ppl are always asking her when she is going to get a job. I wish I didn’t have to work but I’m not jealous of her because she don’t have to. They are jealous of you.

Angela Bailey says:

I don’t think you all those ignorant cows any explanation I think you’re very lucky to be a stay at home mom and they’re just jealous. That you have a wonderful husband and that you’re married and happy ?

angela smith says:

Next time when they say what they do, you tell them that you are a Domestic Engineer! Lol! You proudly manage your huge home and your beautiful smart family with low stress! Lol! Laugh at the haters!

angelamills111 says:

It's really none of their business and personally, I think your friend set you up. She may have been gossiping about you to those women and decided to ambush you. Believe me, I completely understand. I used to be a stay at home mom and what gets me the most is when black women raise their eyebrows when they hear of other black women staying home. But when they hear of white women staying home, they see it as normal. That's why Tan I keep to myself because it's always something with women

angela smith says:

Tan, Tan, Tan cut her loose! You try to hold on to friends that are single for what ever reason but the truth of the matter is you are going down different lanes and don't hesitate to make the shift. That friend is mad and jealous of your marriage and your blessed life. She planned that meeting and it went just the way she wanted it to go. She tried to get in your head and make you feel insecure and second guess your situation but oh no it didn't work! I know people like her, bad news, cut her now before she come in a different angle. You don't owe her anything it's clear she tried to sow negativity and smile in your face. Nope not another chance she doesn't deserve a real friend like you. It doesn't matter if you were friends for 30 years, when you are a friend and have disrespectful, cutthroat friends who need enemies. Continue to be blessed and drop that dead weight with no explanation she'll know why. You messed her up in that last video when you cuddle with your man! Lol!

Lore Lynn says:

What I would do:
1. Associate that so-called-friend!
2. Marriage is 50/50 – 100%
3. Single, you are on your own.
4. This is an issue that people want to start pointlessness and I won't be a part of it.
5. None of their business!
Really!? Really?! Really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karen Hudson says:

I have been on both sides of the spectrum in working in the corporate world and staying home with my daughter for many years. I absolutely agree that stay at home mom’s should not be judged because as you state Tan, everyone has their individual lives to live and should not be looked down upon whichever role one chooses. Great topic for discussion. Have an amazing weekend!!

Faith Milliner says:

Tan before you said it, first thought was "they don't have a man or mad that they dont have the option to stay at home". Bitter Betties. I just came out of the workforce and it has been quite an adjustment being at home with a 5 year old?. I've always said that I have the upmost respect for stay at home mothers. It's not an easy task and you have to make sure you dont lose yourself caring for a family full time. My mother did it with 10 children. I said all of that babbling to say that some women don't respect stay at home moms because they have issues in their own relationships or cant afford to so they look down on mothers/women that can. Clearly you won't be spending your precious time with those Debbie downers anymore. Your time is too precious??!! Love you guys!!

Vee Richardson says:

I’m a stay at home mom as well. I had a professional career in the past but we made the choice, jointly, that
I would be home. I have a son and a daughter. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I feel truly blessed because
I feel taking care of home and family is the most important thing that I will ever do. I also feel to each her own.
I don’t feel any type of way when someone tells me that they couldn’t see themselves being a stay at home
Mom. I do, however, speak my mind when I come across someone who displays the attitude that you
were subjected to. I feel that if I can respect their choice, they should respect mine.
You have a wonderful life, no explanations necessary. I have to say, I think I would have been
a little suspect when they started going around the table to talk about about each of their
occupations; sounds more like a business meeting than ladies getting together for
a relaxing lunch. Seems like your “friend” had a “hidden agenda”. Not nice.

BrownArrowsHomeschooling says:

Enjoyed your car chat. I get the same response, as a SAH Homeschooling mom of 6?. Your hubby was right??that frannsociate ?wasn't worth your time. I'm so done with bitter women who play out their insecurities in conversation ???‍♀️. I try not to pass judgement on women whoWork outside of the home. But they are always the ones that come back to me asking me how do I do XYZ in the HOME. Nurturing a family takes time. I enjoy my calling from God by design ????‍♀️??‍♀️?

Measia says:

I am a SAHM and I absolutely love it. I get the same reactions from my friends. IMO it seems frowned upon when you are an African American SAHM. I have friends from all diverse backgrounds and I only get that kind of response from my own peeps. It seems that because we do not punch a time clock, what we do is valued as less than. My husbands money is my money and I have access to all bank accounts and my name is on the mortgage too. Maybe our friends envy our lives more than what they care to divulge. Maybe they want what we have but have gone about it the wrong way.  I was not always a SAHM, I had a job outside of the home. I am fortunate that the work my husband does allows me the opportunity to stay at home and still have the lifestyle I had when I was working. Oh one more thing, I do not ever have to ask for money and it is a courtesy to let your spouse know your whereabouts just in case plans change and because of what is going on in the world now days. Kudos to you!

kiwanaki says:

Tan, you are a strong, accomplished black woman with a wonderfully supportive partner. A positive image for those of us who are working at same. For others, seeing this highlights their lack, and shows them how it could be-a collaborative, loving partnership. You and Erik make this youtube community better, and I appreciate you for it!

Epitome16 says:

I think some of the issue is that they have met some SAHM that they feel has no "ambition" outside of their husband. And they can't see the work that goes into being a full time mom everyday. It's not as easy as people think. Tell them to try it!

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